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Tinkster:

Hey cristy,

 I've been following this thread and I think the funny things you say are gold!

 I'm covering on Thursday night and I'll be sure to tell some of the stuff you've written here... hope you don't mind since we're all here to make our classes more interesting and fun as well as hard working.

 Just wondering where in the world you teach? I'd love to come to one of your classes to see you in action!! =P

I swear the people givig out jokes should collect a royalty every time we use their jokes!!! :p (Joking...)

 

But seriously, this stuff is gold, keep it up :)

I'd give some but mine are about as funny as getting punched in the face...

 

 

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 During side planks, some of my class will face me while others face the back wall.  Concerning form, I tell those not facing me, "Just because because you can't see me, does not mean I can't see you!"

My class always laughs on 66 lunges when as we step on and off the bench, I immitate a "dippy" aerobics class instructor: And back, and down, now up, step it in!...  It's more about how you say it than anything, it has to have a Richard Simmons feel to it. 

I get a chuckle when I tell new participants that the back track is a very busy track; like dancing with the stars, only with a barbell.

I found these others helpful even if they're not exactly funny:

66 plank roll: Like there wringing their bodies out like a towel.  Helps keep the hips from rolling.

66 Shoulders: Deltoid raise: Like they're trying to crush a peanut between their shoulder blades.  Helps with a stronger squeeze on the way up.

66 Triceps: Pretend they are holding an imaginary ball between elbows, to "keep it from falling," they have to keep their elbows in.  Also helpful in shoulder track: Modified Arnold press.

Ab track- I tell them that this track is not a warm-up to the cool down, it is what you make it!!

My personal favorite that always gets a smile during dead lifts - "Bow to me"

Personally, I use the lyrics from the music for my ad lib humor, from 61 I talk about being able to walk on water at the end of the track, and of course make like I am at the end.  Love the chest track from 61 as well during 4/4s "i am not afraid - i am changing - my body with Body Pump.

...or 5, 4, 3 AND 1

Or at the end of a song that ends abruptly I won't say a word, just stop and watch, usually get at least one more rep out of them.  They all laugh at the fun.

I will think of more as well.  Biggest thing, use the music if all else fails.

 

I like the one about taking a quick peep at someone at the beach. I changed it a lil and tried it on my cousin.

Its just like when you were a kid peeking over the fence at the girl or guy next next door then they turn and catch you so you duck down. Up quick down quick Singles.

In the chest track on 67 - Paralyser - when it says "this club will hopefully be closed in 3 weeks" - I go the semi-lame "hope not - I'll be out of a job!"

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cristy:

Oh!  One more quick joke...

 

Why did the Bodypump instructor cross the road?

They saw someone over there that wasn't hurting!

 

I'm not much a comedienne in my class, but I'm using this one for sure :)

Ok I had a funny moment last night.

 

release 67 squats:  

Take this piece of my heart and you'll find my love....take this piece of my butt and just make it go away.....

 

 

 

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Don't regret doing anything that made you smile!!

Love it! 

 

I don't know about the rest of the world, but here in the US we have these "infomercials" (commercials as long as a TV show...) that always promise more with the same sales pitches.  So, during a squat track with lots of bottom halves, I'll say, "But wait!  There's more!" or "I'm taking half off just for you!"  or on a track that has 4 sets of 4x bottoms, I'll say, "And if you act now in the next few seconds, I'll double your order for free!"  Then, sometime during the track, mention that you guarantee that they will miraculouly lose at least ten pounds after the track is done!  And then at the end of the track when you are removing the bar from your back say, "See?  You're ten pounds lighter!"  Corny, I know...

And everyone know how the law of physics works in Bodypump....what goes down must come up!!! 

 

 

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The person that invented lunges was evil, evil, evil!!!

Oh yes, I use those too! Like when there are more repetitions than people would expect, the "but wait! for the same price... you get two more!!" always works. 

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No animals were harmed in posting this message, although the yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.

I had a funny one just the other day while I kept reminding everyone to tighten their abs:

 "Our abs are like men - always turned on!!"

cristy:

Love it! 

 

I don't know about the rest of the world, but here in the US we have these "infomercials" (commercials as long as a TV show...) that always promise more with the same sales pitches.  So, during a squat track with lots of bottom halves, I'll say, "But wait!  There's more!" or "I'm taking half off just for you!"  or on a track that has 4 sets of 4x bottoms, I'll say, "And if you act now in the next few seconds, I'll double your order for free!" 

 

 

Yeah I do something similar - eg for the BP67 chest track (Paralyser)- at the point where the song usually finishes, but it repeats (after the bottom halves), I usually say "we're not done - buy one get one free" or something like that. Great minds hey :p

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For any tricep track, I'll say we're going out back a bar-b-queing.  And if we have dips, I'll say we're going to have a little dip with our BBQ.   Okay, I'll explain my madness.  Going out back (tricep ext.), bar-b-queing (tricep press)  we're juicing up our ribs with our elbows when we bring the bar down to the body.  Get it?  I always get the corny grins with this one.

For the lunge track - Upper body is like a carousel horse going straight up and down not backwards and forwards.  We don't want our horse taking a nose dive.

 Thanks for all of your ideas...

Rajun Cajun

cbergeron:

For any tricep track, I'll say we're going out back a bar-b-queing.  And if we have dips, I'll say we're going to have a little dip with our BBQ.   Okay, I'll explain my madness.  Going out back (tricep ext.), bar-b-queing (tricep press)  we're juicing up our ribs with our elbows when we bring the bar down to the body.  Get it?  I always get the corny grins with this one.

 

Hahaha bar-b-queing?!! Wow its a stretch, but I did get it... eventually :) :p

Atleast its original! :) haha na nice work!

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Hey guys~

Thanks to all who have responded. This is great~it's exactly what I have been in search of myself.....I don't like to get stuck saying the same things over and over....it's boring and then people stop listening to you. These are great and I am stealing some! But I will try to be fair and share some too(not all are funny-just helpful) -I use the lyrics A LOT! I am really musically motivated. I;ve stolen this glute comment already and it's gone over really well!

Squats-

1. when nearing the end of a track that has bottom halves, I ask if they are feeling the heat, or getting hot; when they respond yes, I tell them then it's time to turn the temps down to "8 below" (or 4 below-whichever is appropriate). The initial mental pic is cooler, until they do the work and actually get hotter!!
2. When people have difficulty grasping proper squat form and just can't get anything else, I will get a bit more graphic and tell them to imagine camping in the woods without an outhouse.....when they have to go, they squat to make sure they don't "get any on themselves"........it gets a lot of ewwws, but they all say it never fails to work.
3. to keep members from tipping forward or bending over while squatting, I tell them I want to be able to read their t-shirts (keeping chest proud so I can see it!)
4. Lyric use-squat track "Beds are burning" I say, "how can we squat when our quads are burning?

Chest-

1. I describe presses like their chest is a book-when the bar comes down, it's like opening the pages of the book; when they push the bar up, they are closing the book.
2. I also use the hugging a beachball picture for pushing the bar up, so they are using the chest muscle and not the shoulder muscles.

Back-

1. Sometimes I start off saying (because they just finished the chest track), "alright, we've got you looking good coming, now we're gonna make you look good going".
2. Somewhere just before a C/P, I mention something about setting goals and aiming high.....so it's time to reach for those goals-reach for the stars, etc.
3. O/H presses, I will tell them it's time to put groceries away on the very top shelf.....or to reach for and grab their luggage from the O/H bin.

Lunges-I LOVE the carousel horse description--that's a great one I plan to use! My elevator/escalator line is getting old!

1. From Les Mills, or DVD instructors, I've stolen some lines that I love like "the lower you go, the higher you tone"
2. "Get the kind of legs, shorts want to wear".

Abs

1. another stolen line for oblique twists I like is to say "the bigger the twist, the smaller the waist".
2. Lyrics for "Get me some" (49) say, I need to get me some of that, but I change it to "I need to get rid of this fat".

Well, that's all I can think of right now and it's more than you all probably wanted, but if I think of anything else, I'll add it later.

Niki

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"Act as if it were impossible to fail." Dorothy Brande ****************************************

Cute, ideas.  I definately will use some of those!