Ted

I started BODYPUMP in August 2006. I was going to be going on a cruise over Halloween and wanted to give my workouts an extra push to get 'swimsuit' ready. By the time the cruise came along, I noticed such a large change that I became a Bodypump fanatic!

Between that initial training and the trainers here at LVAC I've met some really great human beings.

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Just put in a reservation for another cruise...
Looks like BP66 came out just in time!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT HEALTH AND FITNESS

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: How could that be true? Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything wears out eventually, so how could speeding up your heart make you live longer? That's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it more. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: My wife says I should cut down on meat, and eat more fruits and vegetables.
A: Your wife just doesn't grasp logistical efficiencies the way you do. Look, what does a cow eat? Corn. And what's corn? A vegetable. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of slop.

Q: Is beer bad for you?
A: I normally don't like to answer questions which deal with my religious values, but I find this question so ridiculous I simply have to say something. Look, it goes to the earlier point about vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. Well, we all know that beer is not an animal, and it's not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and tell everyone you're on a vegetarian diet.

Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the bench press. What did he mean?
A: "Spotting" for someone means you stand over him while he blows air up your shorts. It's an accepted practice at health clubs, though if you find that it becomes the ONLY reason why you're going in, you probably ought to reevaluate your exercise program.

Q: I'm getting a little soft around the middle. Will sit-ups help this?
A: Definitely not! Look, when you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger, right? You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: I thought it would be good for me to carry my clubs when I play golf, but last weekend some idiot almost ran over me with the golf cart!
A: Uh, sorry, I was reaching into my cooler and didn't see you.

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