Your foray into wellness practices started when you were dealing with panic attacks and anxiety as a teen. What was that like?
“I was anxious and having panic attacks at school when my mum dragged me along to a yoga class that she had been going to for similar reasons. At first, I didn't like it. However, after a few sessions, I found the physicality and fluidity a helpful addition to my dance training and noticed it was having a positive effect on my ability to respond to my anxiety.
When I went to university, I joined the yoga club and became more curious. I delved into quite a full practice with physical asana, meditation, chanting ... I was navigating quite major anxiety at the time and the practice gave me these short yet potent moments of relief. It also gave me a feeling of being connected, so I kept going back.
After deciding not to return to university for second year, an opportunity came up to take part in a yoga teacher training locally in Wellington, New Zealand. It was the first time I'd been in a room full of people being open and expressive about their 'inner' experience. I learnt so much.
I ended up traveling and teaching yoga full-time for the first few years after my initial training. It was a wonderful journey, but being so young, I found it challenging to lead authentically when I was still trying to navigate my own self-awareness. It's so easy to fall into constructs of a role and make choices based on what you think will bring you success or validation rather than on what feels right.”
“I found it challenging to lead authentically when I was still trying to navigate my own self-awareness.”
How did your studies spark your journey into emotional awareness?
“I went back to university in 2021 and finished my degree, majoring in psychology. One of the papers was on civic engagement and involved researching, understanding and helping mitigate an issue in my community.
At the time, I was feeling a sense of shame about being a yoga teacher who was leading and facilitating others in the wellness world – I was experiencing so much anxiety and mental distress. There were definite feelings of imposter syndrome and the more I spoke to other Instructors in my community, I realized it was a common occurrence.
During my research, I came across some statistics that did not add up to me. New Zealand was listed as one of the top 10 happiest countries, while also holding second place in the OECD for our youth suicide rate. It probably makes sense that the global rise in the search for happiness is occurring while our rate of mental and emotional health is going down the toilet ... but it made me question why we focus on health and happiness being synonymous, and what happens to all the other emotions when we do this.
“When we shame ourselves or others for feeling certain emotions we don't allow the emotion to properly run its course.”
As an Instructor, there can be this external pressure to be a shiny, bubbly role model – the optimal, healthy human who exudes peace and love. But that never felt real to me. I would say I'm a pretty emotional person, and I've felt shame around that for a long time. We can be so quick to judge people for being emotional; we've never been taught how to navigate how to be with each other in discomfort. What I've been learning through my studies, conversations and delving deep into personal reflection is that emotions come and go, they are not for us to control and manipulate but to witness and learn from. When we shame ourselves or others for feeling certain emotions, we don't allow the emotion to properly run its course. In my experience, it's the suppression of the emotion that causes the not so desirable social behavior, not the emotion itself.”
“It's the suppression of the emotion that causes the not so desirable social behavior, not the emotion itself.”
“I began exploring the prevalence of toxic positivity in the fitness and wellness industry, and questioning why we label certain emotions as preferred, while others are socially unacceptable. There’s a stigma around feeling sad or angry, but while being chronically sad may require more therapeutic support, generally speaking, feeling sad doesn't mean you're an unhealthy person, it just means there's something that needs your attention and compassion. I really feel that removing the stigma associated with certain emotions is one of the keys to living more authentically.
Having been involved in the creation of Les Mills Wellness content in the past, I knew that this would be something that Les Mills would be receptive to.”
“As an Instructor, there can be this external pressure to be a shiny bubbly role model – the optimal, healthy human who exudes peace and love.”
Tell us about LES MILLS COLOURS
“I teamed up with Dr. Jackie Mills and a team of wellness experts to create LES MILLS COLOURS, a guided mindfulness tool. It’s a resource that helps you explore your relationship with emotions and it gets you questioning how you engage with different feelings. There are six practices and each features a guided inquiry that sets you up with practical tools to help you sit with and navigate feelings with awareness and acceptance. The aim is not to feel happier or brighter. The idea is to feel alive, energized and authentic.”
“The aim is not to feel happier or brighter. The idea is to feel alive, energized and authentic.”
How does it work?
“It’s really open – there is no right or wrong way to use this tool. You can journey through all six sessions at a pace that works for you, or just choose the colours that resonate.
While each session is based around a particular group of emotions, the sessions can be done at any time. You may use a session in response to feeling a particular emotion but it's also a great preventative tool to use in preparation. It’s a way of building your emotional capacity so that the next time you feel a certain way, you'll have the tools to navigate it better. The aim is not to try and 'fix' a feeling; the idea is to learn to be okay with that feeling.
“Be intuitive, if you want to stick with the same colour ten times over, go for it – you’ll likely get something new out of it each time.”
Who is going to benefit from LES MILLS COLOURS?
“It is for everyone. LES MILLS COLOURS is a tool to increase your self-awareness and embrace the benefits and potential of all feelings. And it's not just for your personal wellbeing. By increasing our emotional awareness, we can help build and spread emotional intelligence, which will help us generate a culture of care – something we really need right now.
For those working in the fitness industry, when you nurture emotional awareness, it helps you lead with more clarity and confidence. By becoming more authentic in your own self, you provide the opportunity for everyone that comes to your class to be their authentic selves. It can help you create deeper connection and lead with more authenticity and purpose.”
How is it different from other meditation and wellness practices?
“This is completely accessible for all. You don’t need any meditation experience, and it’s really varied. There are droplets of visualization, breathing, open meditation, and somatic practice, so you get a taste of it all. If you’re an aesthetic person, you’ll love the visualization, and if you don’t like the idea of closing your eyes and meditating, you can watch the animation instead. We’ve also made soundscapes specifically for each colour, and they hold the space for the whole experience.
You can tune into it however you like. Even if you don't end up dropping into the meditation aspect that deeply, you’ll still get benefit from the inquiry phase you do at the beginning of the video.”
What if you don't think meditation is your cup of tea?
“LES MILLS COLOURS is more like an inquiry tool than a meditation tool. It’s not about clearing your mind, or feeling that blissful, unwavering, calm kind of clear state. It’s more about becoming more compassionate and aware of what's going on for you. It will help you feel like you have more of a stake in your life so you’re not just blown around by all of life’s happenings. It will give you space to slow down and reflect, which can help build your emotional intelligence.”
What happens when you build emotional intelligence?
“Emotional intelligence is like a branch of self-awareness. It's building your understanding of your energetic reactions to life and pausing before you respond. Navigating with compassion is key to accepting the emotional experience you're having. I've personally found a strong correlation between the intensity of my anxiety and how much I'm resisting feeling what's there. The more I resist it, the more agitated I'm going to feel. This doesn't necessarily mean every time you notice you're experiencing an uncomfortable emotion you stop, drop whatever you're doing and go into a deep process with it – emotional intelligence is also the ability to recognize when you have the capacity to go deeper and when you just need to take a deep breath and assure yourself you'll come back to this later when you have space."
Yoga, Pilates, relaxation and mindfulness … there are plenty of other ways to improve well-being. How do you suggest people navigate this space without feeling overwhelmed?
“While it can feel overwhelming, it’s also an incredible opportunity to try all sorts of things that can meet your needs. It really is a case of trying different things and seeing what resonates. And you don’t have to force things that don't feel natural.
I’ve found that developing discipline comes up a lot when you’re on a self-awareness journey. But discipline for me can quite easily turn into rigidity, which is not helpful. What's helped me is loosening what discipline means, so it’s not about having one thing or practice that I stick to for the rest of my life; it's more about developing a skill or an intuition that helps you identify and choose what you need at any given point in life.
That's where LES MILLS COLOURS can really help. It’s all about self-awareness and authenticity. It’s not a magic pill that will fix everything, but that's not the point. This human life is all about navigating the fluctuations of experience; this is another tool to support along the way.”
EXPLORE LES MILLS COLOURS ON LES MILLS+
